Children face terrible and awful times when their parents decide to divorce. Initial reactions are usually sadness, shock, frustrations, worry, or anger because a majority of kids wants both parents to raise them. Even though parents are dealing with their stress because of the breakup, they should never ignore the kids. Both parties should ensure the kids get through the process with minimal adverse effects. Parents can make the “mess ” more bearable by:
It is never wise for the young ones to wake up one morning and find that daddy’s or mommy’s things are no longer in the house and they will not be seeing one parent as often as they wish. As soon as you are sure about the separation plans, sit down the kids and break the news that you will be living apart. Where possible, both parents should be present when telling the kids about the divorce decision. Even though it might be tempting, try and leave out feelings of guilt, anger, or blame. Remember to assure the little ones that even though the parents are no longer together, your love for them does not change in any way. Note that the discussion you decide to hold should fit the child’s temperament, maturity, and age.
- Being Ready to Listen and Handle the Kids Reactions Appropriately
If you break the news and the kids are upset about the news, be sure to recognize and also care about their feelings. Let them know that how they feel is perfectly reasonable and understandable and what is happening is not their fault. You might say something like “I know this may be upsetting to you, can we discuss something that might make you feel better?” Not all children will react immediately, and it is also okay.
- Getting Ready To Answer Questions
During the divorce process, kids are bound to have multiple queries. They might wonder who they are going to live with and how often the child will see the parent that they do not stay with. Kids may also want to know where they will go to school and how they will spend their holidays. Be as honest as possible when answering the questions so that you never leave the kids second-guessing. If you do not have solutions immediately, let the child know that you will work something out and let them know the answer as soon as possible.
Trying as Hard as Possible not to interrupt the Child’s Routine
Studies reveal that routine and consistency can play a significant role towards offering children familiarity and comfort they need when they are facing a major family issue. If you can, try and minimise unpredictable transitions, separations, and schedules that may throw off the younger one. Couples should avoid fighting in front of their kids completely even in cases where they do not see eye to eye. It is also time to closely monitor your children to know if they are doing things out of the norm as it is possible for the little ones to pick up bad habits because of the stress they are going through. At this point, you must be strict in a loving way and let them know that such behavior is unacceptable.
- Taking the Young Ones through Counselling Sessions
It is possible that you may be overwhelmed and not even know what to tell your children at times. It is reasonable because divorces are typically not an easy thing to deal with. There is no need to overburden yourself as you can get help from the professionals who will talk to the kids to help them cope with the problem in the best possible way.
- Handling Changes Gradually and Positively
Life would probably never be the same again after a divorce. Handle any adjustments that come your way gradually and positively until they one day become the norm. Children should always come first when parents are making tough decisions about the break up so that they always receive consistent support and care from both parents. It helps to soften the blow of the separation.